No one asked for this

25 random things about me anyway

It is Thursday, the 18th of June, 2026, and I have thoughts.

I lie in bed heavily bloated and in pain because it is that time of the month. After putting up a performance for the first half of the day, I owe myself this much silence.

I haven’t published here in a while, and it is not for a lack of words. It’s the battle between my current state of mind and how much I want to share. But I really want to put something out, so I thought I’d share 25 random facts about me, even though absolutely nobody asked.

1. My name Jumael, is something my dad randomly came up with as the spelling is a mix of Arabic and Hebrew.

2. I could spend hours researching a person, topic, company, or random historical event if it catches my interest. The internet and I have a very unhealthy relationship. If you put anything on the internet, I can find it if I’m interested enough. The problem is getting my interest.

3. I get very easily startled. Please don’t make sudden noises around me.

4. I love deeply, forgive slowly, and remember almost everything. Even the seemingly insignificant things.

5. I’ve been writing stories since I was 8, complete with sketches on them too infact, A story I write titled 19 got me my first major job.

6. I enjoy and love cooking food for myself and people (PTSD from my life as the first child/daughter of a Yoruba family)

7. When I was 10 or 11 and in jss3, I wanted to become a rapper, I got over that fast though. I think it’s the main reason I could never date an upcoming artist that has that solely as his job, no shade but I think it should be a phase you get over quick and face real life.

8. When I was much younger, I genuinely believed there was nothing I couldn’t do. I wish I didn’t lose that spirit.

9. I am my family’s butcher. I won’t be explaining any further.

10. I love my friends so much and a perfect world for me is one where we could all live close like the friends sitcom.

11. My friend, April thinks I’m a very kind person. I think she sees me through rose colored lenses but I truly appreciate the thought.

12. My first ever nickname was Trace, from my obsession with the trace urban channel. My current is Soft n sweet and honestly it came from me trying to prove to people that I wasn’t just a hard exterior, I was a soft baby that cried very easily and wanted affection underneath it.

13. I pretend not to give a fuck but I’m a prostitute of feelings, I feel every single thing deeply. Love, nostalgia, anger, joy, grief, indifference and hatred. Name it all

14. I am a helpless lover girl at my core. I am deeply romantic (but highly analytical). The things I’ve done in the name of love, my mouth cannot speak them.

15. I hate slow people, slow while walking, slow to understand, slow to action. Just don’t be slow. I hate people who chew loudly, I also hate people who are unnecessarily loud especially in places where they shouldn’t be loud. I think those are my consistent pet peeves.

16. I want to be loved in a way that is fully intentional and I am not ashamed of that. I am tired of performing indifference about something I want deeply. I don’t believe humans were made to do life alone. (Mind you my list for my type of man is 3 pages long)

17. I hate thunderstorms and I find them really scary.

18. I have dreamt of relocating since I was 6. I am still here. I don’t know what I’m waiting for and that scares me more than leaving does.

19. I suffer from IBS. Ebuka says my favorite place in my house is the toilet.

20. I eat a lot of weird food combinations. I am quite experimental with food.

21. I’m very easily irritable. Everyone annoys me until they don’t.

22. I own 64 bottles of perfumes. It’s actually a very slow growth, I’m impressed by my restraint.

23. Moving on, I’ll be sharing the link to this with Everyman that says, “tell me about yourself” so they could just read it up, mio raye ejo ofo, MFJPM.

24. I think the first sign of genuine attraction is curiosity and the problem is people are no longer curious. (Please, curiosity is not asking” what do you do for work” 5 times in one day)

25. I have started writing my autobiography. You’re reading a chapter of it now

Dunno why I did this but I hope you enjoy it . Mind you, It was in the middle of writing this that I decided on number 23.

Okay bye 👋